Mohabbatein = 3 hour long "LOL + WTF" moments

This is not a review. This is  myself under observation after completing this movie.


 Movie name : Mohabbatien.
Duration : 216 minutes.
By the time I completed the movie, I realized that my beard had grown 2 millimeters, Mr. Atal bihari Vajpayee had completed a scentence and Ram Gopal Verma had finished making his latest movie.


Seriously, What  was I thinking? probably it's due to some pseudo masochist instincts in my subconscious mind. What else can make me launch a never ending  self inflicted pain moving at 24 fps?
Anyhow, I ended up watching "Mohobbatein". For those who love the movie (really?), please stop reading. For those who haven't watched the movie, please watch it. And for those who have watched the movie and love to loathe it,please continue.
 Bachhan Sir- with all due respect, I counted the scenes in which your facial muscles moved. I couldn't go beyond 10. What's with the poker face? You were supposed to look a stern and disciplined person on the screen, Not a Godzilla masquerading as a teacher.

SRK- take him out of Kabhi haan kabhi naa, put him in DDLJ, take him out for Dil Toh paagal hai, Put him into .... you get the idea.He clearly steals the show with 1/2 inch wide eyebrow moments, hands stretched further apart than kanoon and the dimples on his chin in almost all the scenes excluding the ones where he's not on the screen.

3 Monkeys of Yash Chopra - Raj Sir said go out of college. Done.
Raj sir said go and propose to girls. Done.
Raj sir said f#$# off. Done.
Even 

3 scantily clad females - The costumes these girls wear, either have a neckline sinking faster than Titanic, or they wear something which exposes a healthy portion of their bosom. And in 1 of the LOL moments, the girl feels "ashamed" because she's her boyfriend throws her in swimming pool which "exposes" her flesh to ogling eyes of YRF's camera.
PS - Kim Sharma, are you real? I thought of her as an earliest attempt to create an android wrapped in female shape.

The professor standing in 1st line during Gurukul Assembly - Nothing about him. I thought I'd just mention him in this blog piece because I'm 100% sure no one has ever mentioned him.

Here are some genuine WTF moments -

• Any scene comprising of Amitabh Bachhan. Just look at his face.
• SRK and Aishwarya song - SRK looks like a vampire. What's wrong with the lips? Did he have ketchup for breakfast or they accidentally put Aish's make-up on SRK?
• Any scene involving Uday Chopra- Making fun of him is a compliment. The one who couldn't act, can never act and shall not be allowed  to act. For a complete reference to Uday Chopra's acting career, visit this link
• Scene where Uday Chopra meets his female companion and they start dancing "passionately".
• The making of Mohobbatein - Do watch this one to understand that this wasn't a random event in history of known universe. This madness was planned and sponsored  act of heinous intentions.
• Aren't you tired by now?

 1 line summary of Mohabbatien-"Several LOL moments and WTF scenes during a ham-act feast attended by Mr. Bachhan AKA poker face, Mr. SRK aka psycopath lover turned pied piper, and 3 monkeys of Yash Chopra dancing with 3 scantily clad females in ever present alaaps of Lata Mangeshkar."