Eshhhhh........

It's been many days, and further zeroing makes it months.
We've been bitten by a new bug!I'm yet to describe it, but its got to do something with names.
better start with an example.
Listen to this conversation
/**************************/
A: Hiiiiiiiii
B: hiiiiii
..... blah blah and more blah
A: so me feeling Boresh Borkar these days
B: yeah me too Boresh Bhansali !
..... some more serious blah blah and blah
A: c ya ! bayesh bacchan now !
B: me too kaltesh kapoor !
/****************************/
This is what a general NaamKaraan would look like. These are the golden rules- like Robotics.

1. Each verb shall have "esh" suffix with it. No matter what, this is a must have.
2. Following the 1st rule, you need to add a surname to verb. And unless exceptional case, it should start with the same alphabet! like Boresh should have a surname with B.. and so on
3. Following above two rules, you can play with them however you want !!
4. Ususally bolltwood stars feature in surnames. Khannas and Kapoors are regulars.

Now comes the real best part ... - regionalising them
look at these -
kamesh kumarswami
chalesh chelappa
lookesh ( slightly unpopular) luktuke
Goesh Goyel
"Coolesh Kulkarni "
The 'Esh' part has a seperate history, and we'll need another past for that !
So go on ... tryesh Striker!! ( remember the provision for an exceptional case !! )
PS --> Well - this is a creation by a punaite gal, and i sallute her for this !!!
bole toh ...Salutesh Salunkhe!

these days - a different mathamatics

Many have left, still many more to go. The days are numbered. Wish I could divide them by infinite activities and reduce them to zero!
But on the contrary, the activities and interests' count is tending to zero here,and thus days are tending to infinity for sure.

All the interesting variables are going either static these days or they are not part of this equation...

I'm living with no non linier behaviour, every term has got a simple nature.
Forget imaginary number, I do not even have a irrational looking being here.

And I dread this so much. Because the result is sure, dull and boring.
My equation these days sums up in a single quantity – Zero.

एक पुणेरी अनुभव

मला तशी पुण्यात राहून चांगली दोन वर्षे होत आली.पण अजुनही अस्सल म्हणवेत असे खास पुणेरी अनुभव आलेले नाहीत. ह्याचा अर्थ पुणेकर माझ्याशी ’तिळगुळ’ घेतल्यासारखं बोलतात असा मुळीच होत नाही. आता, ह्यात चूक माझीही आहे- नाही असं नाही.मी तसा गावापासून लांबच रहातो. त्यामुळे ’नमुने’ भेट्ण्याची शक्यता तेवढीच कमी होते. पौड रोड, चांदणी चौक, औंध अशा मागासवर्गीय भागात हे नरपुंगव कधी भट्कत नाहीत

पण अलिकडेच एका व्याख्यानाला जायचा योग जुळून आला. विषयही अस्सल पुणेरी - "भांडारकर रस्त्यावरील वाहतूक खोळंब्यामागे परकीय शक्तीचा हात आहे काय?"
पुढे " प्रचंड गर्दीचा दुसरा आठवडा" असंही लिहिलेलं दिसलं.
"कमाल आहे हो! दोन आठवडे चालू आहे हे व्याख्यान...मानलं पाहिजे", मी बाजूच्या एका वॄद्ध गॄहस्थांना म्हटलं.
"अहो कसला दुसरा आठवडा?.. ’चावट कुठला’ नाटकाचा बोर्ड आहे तो. त्यावरच चिकटवलंय हे व्याख्यानाचं",तो गॄहस्थ म्हणाला.

"काय सांगता! भलतंच!"
- हे दोन शब्द उच्चारल्यावर मला जाणवलं, की मी चुकून एका अद्रूश्य टेप रेकॉर्डरचं PLAY बटण दाबलंय.

"मग! काय अर्थ आहे ह्याला सांग बरं तू मला. एवढा ज्वलंत विषय, आणि त्या पुढे हे असलं वेडंवाकडं शोभतं का!", तो मनुष्य आता उभा पेटला होता. "रक्ताचं पाणी आणि हाडाची काडं करून आम्ही स्वातंत्र्य मिळवलं, ते ह्यासाठी?..... काय?"
"स्वतःच्या जीवाची पर्वा न करता हजारो लोकांनी बलिदान दिलं ते, ते फ़ुकट!.... काय?"
" अरे आज तुमच्या एवढ्या पोरांना शिकता येतं, कुठेही बिनधास्त ( त्याने ’त’ पूर्ण उच्चारला) फिरता येतं, ते विसरलास का तू?"

"नाही, म्हणजे काय आहे आजोबा...." मी त्या मनुष्य रूपी टेप रेकॉर्डरचं 'PAUSE' बटण शोधता शोधता म्हणालो.

"आ जो बा?", तो मनुष्य एकेका शब्दावर जोर देत ओरडला.
आता स्वतंत्र्य लढ्यात भाग घेतलेल्या माणसाला २००८ साली ’काका’ म्हणता येतं, ह्यावर एखादा जीवाणुसुद्धा विश्वास ठेवील असं मला वाटत नाही.आणि देव आनंदची गोष्टच वेगळी आहे.

"तू मला आजोबा म्हणतोस?"
"मग तुम्ही काय स्व्तःला शाहीद अफ्रीदी समजता काय?", मी हा डायलॉग मारायचा मोह टाळला. मला ’१९४०-५०-६०’ मधील क्रिकेट, ह्या विषयावर चर्चा नको होती.

"रोज पंचवीस दंड आणि वीस उठाबशा काढतो. न चुकता, काय?", आजोबारूपी काका म्हणाले.

"ह्यं ह्यं ह्यं..... ", मी ठेवणीतलं हसू बाहेर काढलं.

"हसतोस काय तरसासारखा? रोज व्यायाम करीत जा. अरे शरीर म्हणजे कसं, तजेलदार हवं. ’मारुती भुते’ हे नाव ऐकलंच असशील....."
’मारुती भुते’ ... नाही. database पूर्ण शोधूनही मला अशा नावाचा एकही रेकोर्ड सापडला नाही. पण नाही म्हटलं, तर मारूती भुतेपुराण चालू झालं असतं.

"वा! मारुती भुते महिती नाही,असं कसं होईल? आमच्या घराच्या खालीच त्यांचं साडीचं दुकान आहे! अप्रतीम माल मिळतो तिथं...." मी हल्ला चढवला.
"साडी????", काकारूपी आजोबांच्या तोंडातून फ़ेस यायचा बाकी होता. वरणावर पिळलेल्या लिंबासारखा त्यांचा चेहरा झाला.

पण ते पुढे काही बोलणार एवढ्यात मी गडप झालो.

Wish

"I want to marry a blind girl..."
कॄपया कारण विचारु नये, ते सांगितले जाणार नाही ह्याची नोंद घ्यावी.

माझा पहिला मराठी ब्लॉग

आज तरी एवढंच पुरे!....
थकायला होतय ऱाव

good(!) morning!

You have come to 5*, may be because some the residents there are your friends, may be because the supply of H2O has ran out of pipes.
Anyways you are in. And after a much guaranteed entertaining night session of Yahooing, you sleep peacefully in one of the horizontal looking bedlike object.

The morning signifies its presence when people start moving around you like vivacious zombies.
After waking up early you find- the alarm has ditched you, you are already late.
Toothpaste in the house (the only thing that makes some people grin) has finished its avatar on earth and it has given up the ghost.
Your irritation quotient increases.

Now the geyser has its sweet revenge – the chap simply doesn’t "feel" like heating up the water.
Don’t ask for reasons please, every geyser has its own day and night.

Your irritation quotient again increases, now like a non linier curve with positive slope…

Meanwhile a gentleman in formal dress takes your leave and goes out of the house – when a fully clad object is still horizontal and snoring.
You can hear a semi- human shape is leaning on bed, in a semi NAMAAZ pose. Like practicing a satanic cult
Umm… at last the water is warm; you enter the bathroom like a shivering tropical animal on a cold day.
Damn – the soap is playing hide n seek. Everything is just AGAINST you.
As you can hear some sounds "8?"... "11…"
You hasten up the pace. On any other day water playfully embraces your body and you can enjoy the warm sensation with pleasure.
Not today- today you are part of fire brigade squad. Within seconds the "Snan" is over and you are out.
You have planned out the tasks ahead-
Wearing clothes- 10seconds
Combing the random hair or two – 4 seconds including the time deciding which part of hair to comb
Collecting stuff and shoes – 30 seconds excluding tying shoe laces
COOL!!!
Apparently not so cool-
The penultimate nail on your not so furnished coffin – You realize that everyone else in 5* is just hovering around- with no hurry.

The old Hindu saying comes into your lukewarm brain ..."Time is infinite and Atman is immortal".

The other entities in 5* are just following there forefathers’ advise at 7.53 AM in morning, clad in semi garments.
No one is in hurry, things going on with a pace which is hardly any pace.
You begin to wonder, pinning you not so lukewarm brain with questions like-
"How on earth they are going to make it?"
"The gentleman in that corner who takes eternal time in brushing teeth, can he comb his hair in timely fashion and get out?"
"Can the semi human form get ready in this impossible looking nuance of time?"
Petty you…..
The irritation curve is rising exponentially now, probably out of the graph paper.
At last the golden word are uttered- "Abey kutte, late ho raha hai".
Finally a hoard of gentlemen and a not-so-gentleman looking object moves out of the house.
A piece of bed sheets and quilt is quilt sleeping in a corner with fan roaring at top- you feel the cold by merely watching the fellow sleep.
The watch is showing almost 8, and you have left the house with very little hope of catching the last bus.
Well, it may be an abnormal morning in your house…. In 5* that’s the benchmark way of doing things….

-Kau

GLOSSARY:
5*: our house

A mad story

There was this boy- ABC. No, his actual name was ABC.
He was totally unhappy with it, and tell me who would not be? He had all right to be unhappy with it.But his mother and father never realised his problem. Both of them- they had quite okay names- 'gangabai' and 'Chhotelal'.
" Why on earth you named me like a standard English chart?", ABC would ask his parents often.they never felt anger at his question but simply smiled, looking at each other. One fine day he decided enough is enough and left his house. " Let me find my own way. Enough of this boring life", he said to himself. But 2-3 other friends also Happen to hear him. Anyways that's not in the scope of our story.
ABC started his journey at bedewed (east), besides the Kebab corner where you get fresh lime juice 24 hours a day. ABC tried not to look at the Kebab's but he couldn't help looking at a glass full of mango juice. "What a lovely piece of work this table is !" ABC thought. "If I learn this then I can also make such beautiful piece of wooden work'. He approached the shop keeper with a yellow T-shirt.
" Please teach me how to make Kebabs. " ABC asked the shopkeeper.
"Never mind son, you'll pass in the next exams", One of the Kebab's said calmly.
ABC was frustrated with this…. He caught a train and decided to get down at last possible stop where train doesn't halt.
Well, the boy was lucky indeed - Ticket checker caught him travelling without ticket ! But when ABC started crying and made sounds similar to Hayena,
Ticket checker had no other option but to take him home. TC's little daughter was fascinated by hayenas. She had a big schoolbag !
ABC was tired by all these events. All he wanted was a new name and he had ended up here! In a TC's home - with a inane girl who loved Hayenas!
" It's all your fault Kau, you just can't write a good story", ABC told me with an expression of disgust on his face.
" I agree totally", I said with a sigh.

An O and the TV series

Not too long time ago there was this O.
He got fed up of the rudimentary changes happening in the universe around and decided to watch a TV series.
Now its not at all easy for an O to watch TV series considering the environment on their planet.
It’s a very well known fact that O's do posses great intellectual ability - and our O wasn't any exception to this.

So his 67 friends were naturally worried about this new development
"Shall we ask The Big O about this ?", O's 53rd friend asked O.
"What can he say? No one has ever done this!" said O's 89th friend.
the 67 friends were obviously not in order, you see.
Then there was great chaos all around.
"Ok",said O in calm and clear voice."Let's face this grave situation. There is no point in running away from it. Some way or other I am going to watch this TV series . Also it means I'll have to refrain myself from using my brains. No logical thoughts should develop in mind during this period. All rational thinking must be Stopped at once.Similarlly-"

"-But this is impossible! One cannot stop logical thinking on purpose… and … and .. This is wrong!!"
"That's the beauty of this situation! For the first time in our history, we are facing something which does shut down your brain completely, without making you Aware of this! And if I'm not wrong, slowly you begin to like this ' shutdown of brain'.", said O excitedly.

"And why would you want to do such horrifying thing for Big O's sake?" - O's 42nd friend was upset.
"Good question. I'm doing it as an experiment, nothing else. But people do it rather willingly. They think loss of freedom , essentially freedom of mind, freedom of thought, as a desire. Most of them do not even realise this. They are trapped into a web that's so carefully built that entrapment is never visible.
Though you might think this situation is impossible - it is occurring very fast and effectively."

"that's weird… no one wants to loose freedom and get enslaved", muttered O's 28th friend.
"Not so, my friend. Look around , and you'll find a planet earth. Peep into their lives and you'll know how knowingly/ unknowingly people loose their Freedom- happily. Not only they loose it, they crave for this loss and …and …" O hesitated for a moment.
"What?" exclaimed someone.
" They call it as enjoyment, luxury and comfort." , said O with disgust and walked away.

- Written by O.

PS - One of the critics on Planet Zoof termed this story written by O, as highly improbable and just another wild imagination.

Duniya...

there are few kind of people in world..

Ones who judge you by face, looks and appearance

Ones who judge you only by face, looks and appearance

and the ones who judge you not only by face but also by looks and appearance.

in short -- "Duniya shakal parr jaati hai" :))

- Now don't ask me who made me realise this and how !!!

beta and zeta -1

1.if you are very normal, say X then there exists a similar normal Y for you.
unfortunately, say you are not so normal.
You are not extraordinary but simply abnormal...wierd may be.
like a greek alphabet -zeta

Now this zeta knows very well that any if he pairs up with any XYZ, life's going to be miserable!
And zeta knows for sure that there is no such abnormal beta for him in this world.
Even if there is any, its difficult to find her, right?

So zeta just wonders... and on ..and on....
How come these people stay together with each other?
(basically he means HOW CAN they STAND each-other? because zeta would be unable to stand any ABC or XYZ ..)
zeta might(as i don't know for sure) be dreaming about his Ms. beta ; But he doesn't let others know.
And what can he tell them as he himself doesn't know if there is any beta !!!

So our hero .. zeta thinks marriage is hopeless system where two (or more ??) people face each other for years...

is zeta wrong ?

kya zeta ko uski beta milegi??
:))

chhoti si baat :)

"Kehte hai na , jo hota hai acche keliye hota hai"
"everything happens for the best"

"Everything happens for the best. It's not always true. We all know it inside, all time.
But but saying it aloud would make us feel pessimistic.
By saying everything happens for the best, we make ourselves comfortable.
And we can face the situation with (forced?) smile.
This is the trick!!"

-danni

That's something i was/will be afraid of saying aloud.

thanks.. dil se .....