Sachin Mania

We, Indians have a great fetish - of going over the top. We've done it on numerous occasions and we continue to do it. And sometimes the effects are of staggering proportions. Latest victim of this syndrome is -
Sachin Tendulkar

He's one of the finest players to have played the game. Sachin has been on Indian cricket turf for more than 20 years now. He entered as a wonder-boy, steered our Cricket team's ship as the ever bankable batsman and evolved into a mature batsman.
But off late, he's been given an entirely new status - The so called "GOD" of cricket. It's an interesting phenomenon, the root of which is based on absolutely little truth. I have nothing against Sachin, I love to see him bat. But this "God" phenomenon has alienated me -and other cricket lovers from the batsman we love to watch.
Sachin is no more a batsman. He's been turned into a messiah. He is the God of cricket. He's the best of the best of the best. Indian cricket is incomplete without him. He deserves Bharat Ratn. Everywhere in media, you see unanimous statements glorifying Sachin. It's almost a competition out there- who can glorify Sachin more.
Lets get some facts straight -

1. Sachin Tendulkar is a batsman who plays a game called cricket.
2. He is ranked amongst the best batsmen of all times.

If we analyze him thru the cricketing perspective, that's awesome. Let's talk about why is that so. I'm all ears for this sort of conversation and coverage. But we've reached to the other end already. We've declared him to be the pinnacle of sportsmen in India, and anything spoken about him other than praise is considered blasphemy. Why has this happened?

The reasons can vary, but some of the main reasons for this outrageous bombardment of Sachin mania could be

• Bite Hungry Media - Sachin is an everlasting golden egg for Media. They can never ever run out of Sachin news. Whether he's on the field of off the field. They'll always make money by using him.
• Corporate houses - Associating yourself with India's leading cricket player has its perks. But associating yourself with Nation's most beloved personality who happens to be the God of cricket has immense profits. Sachin is a gold mine  for advertising.
• Gaining Popularity- Mention his name in your book, review, interview - and you're ensured of instant publicity. This can be tied to point1- media picks up anything and everything that is Sachinified.

As a result, the cricket fans & more importantly Sachin fans and fanatics have been thriving on this media mantra of Godhood. They have been fed a falsified statement from all sorts of media outlets - TV, newspapers, magazines. It has built this tremendous larger than life image of Sachin, which is hard to deny. It's almost as if people eager to embrace this glorified image rather than the actual man himself.
Hence we no more talk about how beautifully he played, how his straight drives were thrilling and how the leg glance was mesmerizing. We constantly chirp about his 100th 100, how he's become leading run scorer, how is it impossible for anyone to break his records and so on. The man whom we all love, is now slowly vanishing and a bloated media created image is taking its place.

I'm fed up with this Johnson & Johnson Sachin. I want my Sachin back.

Mohabbatein = 3 hour long "LOL + WTF" moments

This is not a review. This is  myself under observation after completing this movie.


 Movie name : Mohabbatien.
Duration : 216 minutes.
By the time I completed the movie, I realized that my beard had grown 2 millimeters, Mr. Atal bihari Vajpayee had completed a scentence and Ram Gopal Verma had finished making his latest movie.


Seriously, What  was I thinking? probably it's due to some pseudo masochist instincts in my subconscious mind. What else can make me launch a never ending  self inflicted pain moving at 24 fps?
Anyhow, I ended up watching "Mohobbatein". For those who love the movie (really?), please stop reading. For those who haven't watched the movie, please watch it. And for those who have watched the movie and love to loathe it,please continue.
 Bachhan Sir- with all due respect, I counted the scenes in which your facial muscles moved. I couldn't go beyond 10. What's with the poker face? You were supposed to look a stern and disciplined person on the screen, Not a Godzilla masquerading as a teacher.

SRK- take him out of Kabhi haan kabhi naa, put him in DDLJ, take him out for Dil Toh paagal hai, Put him into .... you get the idea.He clearly steals the show with 1/2 inch wide eyebrow moments, hands stretched further apart than kanoon and the dimples on his chin in almost all the scenes excluding the ones where he's not on the screen.

3 Monkeys of Yash Chopra - Raj Sir said go out of college. Done.
Raj sir said go and propose to girls. Done.
Raj sir said f#$# off. Done.
Even 

3 scantily clad females - The costumes these girls wear, either have a neckline sinking faster than Titanic, or they wear something which exposes a healthy portion of their bosom. And in 1 of the LOL moments, the girl feels "ashamed" because she's her boyfriend throws her in swimming pool which "exposes" her flesh to ogling eyes of YRF's camera.
PS - Kim Sharma, are you real? I thought of her as an earliest attempt to create an android wrapped in female shape.

The professor standing in 1st line during Gurukul Assembly - Nothing about him. I thought I'd just mention him in this blog piece because I'm 100% sure no one has ever mentioned him.

Here are some genuine WTF moments -

• Any scene comprising of Amitabh Bachhan. Just look at his face.
• SRK and Aishwarya song - SRK looks like a vampire. What's wrong with the lips? Did he have ketchup for breakfast or they accidentally put Aish's make-up on SRK?
• Any scene involving Uday Chopra- Making fun of him is a compliment. The one who couldn't act, can never act and shall not be allowed  to act. For a complete reference to Uday Chopra's acting career, visit this link
• Scene where Uday Chopra meets his female companion and they start dancing "passionately".
• The making of Mohobbatein - Do watch this one to understand that this wasn't a random event in history of known universe. This madness was planned and sponsored  act of heinous intentions.
• Aren't you tired by now?

 1 line summary of Mohabbatien-"Several LOL moments and WTF scenes during a ham-act feast attended by Mr. Bachhan AKA poker face, Mr. SRK aka psycopath lover turned pied piper, and 3 monkeys of Yash Chopra dancing with 3 scantily clad females in ever present alaaps of Lata Mangeshkar."